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Jealousy is the problem couples often face in their relationships. It is an emotional state that points out to negative thoughts and lack of confidence, panic, and concern over an anticipated loss of love, or relationship. It often involves various feelings such as anger, sadness, disgust, and insecurity.


There are many causes that may provoke jealousy in a person. Being severely hurt or having been betrayed before may be the reason for jealous reactions.

Partner’s characteristics and habits may also cause jealousy. Having a partner that constantly speaks about previous partners or keeps noticing other attractive people can make a person feel unconfident, angry, and worried. Jealous partners may start to think they are not good or attractive enough thus feeling insecure.

Feeling jealous occasionally is a normal thing for every healthy person in a relationship, but once jealousy becomes blind and the partner starts doubting the other side’s honesty, jealousy gets out of control. This kind of jealousy can cause serious problems in the best relationships, causing immense suffering to both sides. In some cases, it may even end up as a crime of passion.

Symptoms and Signs

Signs of jealousy are not hard to spot. Partner is becoming jealous if keeps monitoring the other partner’s movements, checking on the partner’s activities, spying on telephone calls, text messages, and emails, going through personal belongings, if rises suspicion every time partner speaks or gives attention to a person of the opposite sex or if shows constant fear of losing the partner.

Jealousy was reported by all subjects. Men, when jealous, were particularly concerned about the potential loss of the partner, whereas women were more concerned with the effects of infidelity on the quality of the relationship.
  • Behaviours such as searching the partner's belongings or inspecting their clothes for signs of sexual activity correlated with unusually intense jealousy.
  • Men tended to cope with jealousy by using denial and avoidance, whereas women were more likely to express their distress and to try to make themselves more attractive to their erring partner.
  • Greater jealousy concerns were expressed by young men who had either married early or were now living without a partner. Heavy drinkers and those reporting more psychiatric symptoms were also more prone to jealousy.
  • A clear correlation emerged between lowered self-esteem and increased jealousy, which was particularly marked in women, for whom robust self-esteem was virtually incompatible with high jealousy concerns.
✓ Fact confirmed: Jealousy: a community study P. E. Mullen, J. Martin January, 1994

Fighting the Jealousy

Decision to fight jealousy implies the will to examine triggers and possible reasons for such a feeling. One should examine the situations that provoke jealous feelings and try to weigh them in a reasonable way. Logic has to prevail and if there is no actual reason to be jealous, this emotion will ultimately go away.

It is also important to improve self-esteem. One can easily change the looks, shape up, change the wardrobe or a haircut… anything that may help change the self-image in their head, not the one in the mirror. Fighting the feeling of inferiority means acknowledging own self-worth, power, and abilities. Positive thinking through affirmations will help overcome past hurts and frustrations.

Taking control over emotions is crucial not just to fight jealousy but also to preserve a healthy relationship. Whether a partner cheated or not, one should know how to approach the subject and avoid irrational confrontation. Emotions may often get out of hand and do serious damage. One should learn to “count to ten” and take time to understand how it really feels before confronting the partner.

Last but not least, relationships are there to be enjoyable.

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