Jealousy is the problem couples often face in the relationships. It is an emotional state that points out to the negative thoughts and lack of confidence, panic and concern over an anticipated loss of love, affect or relationship. It often involves various feelings such as anger, sadness, disgust, insecurity.
There are many causes that may provoke jealousy in person. Being severely hurt or having been betrayed before may be the reason of jealous reactions.
Partner’s characteristics and habits may also cause jealousy. Having a partner that constantly speaks about previous partners or keeps noticing other attractive people can make a person feel unconfident, angry and worried. Jealous partners may start to think they are not good or attractive enough thus feeling insecure.
Feeling jealous occasionally is a normal thing for every healthy person in a relationship, but once jealousy becomes blind and partner starts doubting the other side’s honesty, jealousy gets out of control. This kind of jealousy can cause serious problems to the best relationships, causing immense suffering to both sides. In some cases it may even end up as a crime of passion.
Symptoms and signs
Signs of jealousy are not hard to spot. Partner is becoming jealous if keeps monitoring the other partner’s movements, checking on the partner’s activities, spying on telephone calls, text messages and emails, going through personal belongings, if rises suspicion every time partner speaks or gives attention to a person of opposite sex or if shows constant fear of losing the partner.
Fighting the jealousy
Decision to fight jealousy implies the will to examine triggers and possible reasons of such a feeling. One should examine the situations that provoke jealous feeling and try to weight them in a reasonable way. Logic has to prevail and if there is no actual reason to be jealous, this emotion will ultimately go away.
It is also important to improve self-esteem. One can easily change the looks, shape up, change the wardrobe or a haircut… anything that may help changing the self image in their head, not the one in the mirror. Fighting the feeling of inferiority means to acknowledge own self worth, power and abilities. Positive thinking trough affirmations will help overcoming the past hurts and frustrations.
Taking control over emotions is crucial not just to fight jealousy but also to preserve healthy relationship. Weather partner cheated or not, one should know how to approach the subject and avoid irrational confrontation. Emotions may often get out of the hand and do the serious damage. One should learn to “count to ten” and take time to understand how it really feels before confronting the partner.
Last but not the least, relationships are there to be enjoyable.