We all develop relationships with other people throughout life. These relationships vary in importance, characteristics and many other distinctive features. However, in many relationships, we get what we give and, if we are cold towards certain individuals, they are bound to be cold towards us, in most cases. Of course, the same goes for positive attitudes and loving and caring behavior.
Nevertheless, in order to love someone, let alone establish a healthy long-term relationship, you need to know how to love and respect yourself. We learn how to treat others by mirroring our own behavior towards ourselves. Therefore, in order to love, we need to know how to love ourselves first, in that respect. Also, most of us want to be themselves and behave the way they actually are and to be accepted and loved as such, not to live as imitations of somebody nor to satisfy other people's expectations on both a social or business plan.
Yelling at the Mirror
Even though we are not aware of it, usually, when we are aggressive towards other people and get into arguments with our partner, we are angry about certain aspects of ourselves. Then, we project these things onto the other person and express our anger, thinking that the problem is not in us. However, understanding, tolerance and caring can negate any anger and frustration. Anger requires passion, which is an individual trait. Therefore, you are likely to focus your passionate self upon others by being angry about something. We use anger for protection against anything we might be hurt by. Therefore, again, anger, as well as any other emotion is a mere reflexion of our inner feelings, fears, emotions and frustrations.
Anger is a final stadium of someone being hurt for some reason before. This is why this is the most difficult thing in a relationship with other people. Since we love these people we preserve our hurting withing ourselves. However, there are times when we cannot hold this inside us any more and we are bound to release the pain, projecting it on someone else, usually feeling sorry for this later.
Therefore, be aware that all you do is mirror your inner self. Being aware of this will grant you the ability to understand people close to you and their own unique feelings which sometimes do not match your own. We all have our mirrors we project outside and sometimes the reflections collide. Nevertheless we are to fix this and grant love and understanding whenever we are in a relationship with someone.