The mirror of relationships

Tough Love

We all develop relationships with otherpeople throughout life. These relationships vary in importance,characteristics and many other distinctive features. However, in manyrelationships, we get what we give and, if we are cold towardscertain individuals, they are bound to be cold towards us, in mostcases. Of course, the same goes for positive attitudes and loving andcaring behavior.

Nevertheless, in order to love someone, let alone establish a healthy long-term relationship, you needto know how to love and respect yourself. We learn how to treatothers by mirroring our own behavior towards ourselves. Therefore, inorder to love, we need to know how to love ourselves first,in that respect. Also, most of us want to be themselves and behave the way they actually are andto be accepted and loved as such, not to live as imitations of somebody nor to satisfy other people'sexpectations on both a social or business plan.

Yelling at the Mirror

Even though we are not aware of it,usually, when we are aggressive towards other people and get intoarguments with our partner, we are angry about certain aspects ofourselves. Then, we project these things onto the other person andexpress our anger, thinking that the problem is not in us. However,understanding, tolerance and caring can negate any anger andfrustration. Anger requires passion, which is an individual trait.Therefore, you are likely to focus your passionate self upon othersby being angry about something. We use anger for protection againstanything we might be hurt by. Therefore, again, anger, as well as anyother emotion is a mere reflexion of our inner feelings, fears,emotions and frustrations.

Anger is a final stadium of someonebeing hurt for some reason before. This is why this is the mostdifficult thing in a relationship with other people. Since we lovethese people we preserve our hurting withing ourselves. However,there are times when we cannot hold this inside us any more and we are bound torelease the pain, projecting it on someone else,usually feeling sorry for this later.

Therefore, be aware that all you do ismirror your inner self. Being aware of this will grant you theability to understand people close to you and their own uniquefeelings which sometimes do not match your own. We all have ourmirrors we project outside and sometimes the reflections collide.Nevertheless we are to fix this and grant love and understandingwhenever we are in a relationship with someone.