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A Broken System of Values

In today's world, many individuals are taught that to err is not human. However, we do err, end we do it excessively. All one needs to do is turn around and see the products of our collective mistakes. However, denial of responsibility and admittance of guilt is not a common trait of human beings. We think that apologizing and forgiving is the worst case scenario in our lives and usually avoid these actions or act them out if necessary. This, of course, is a terrible habit since apologizing and forgiving other people is a healing and beneficial process for our health and well-being. Therefore, by learning how to apologize for our mistakes and forgive others for theirs, we will get closer to being humans, since many people lack the humane factor in their lives, however paradoxical this might sound.

Apologize and Forgive, Human

Forgiveness is one of the actions which are usually fake since, if you really forgive someone, you should feel no resentment. Yet, after “forgiving” people usually remember and prepare a revenge, hiding behind their bitter resentment. Forgiving is far more complicated than just uttering the words or suppressing resentment, making you vulnerable to being hurt the same way in the future. Also, forgiveness depends on the guilty act or a set of such acts which are to be forgiven. Therefore, we need to learn a better tactics for forgiveness since, so far, this is not working.

The first step towards forgiveness is acknowledging the wrongdoing. Namely, you have been hurt by someone as soon as you feel disappointed and lost, seeking reasons for you to forgive this person for the pain he/she has caused. Well, you need more information. You need to pinpoint the exact thing that has hurt you and deal with it. Sometimes, time can help you see this, so think about your sadness and resentment, as well as the cause behind it.

Next, make sure you do everything you can to mend the problem and take care of it. People usually get into fights due to misunderstanding which can easily be avoided through rules, emphasis of demands, obligations, expectations and similar methods.

Conversation solves millions of problems. Therefore, if you feel sad and depressed because of someone else, talk to him/her, or seek advice from a reliable source. When you decide to spill your guts out, make sure you do not accuse. Rather, express the way you feel and give reasons for the way you feel, seeking solution together with the other side, being ready for compromise.

Finally, always be prepared to listen to the other side. Many times you are not aware of your own contribution to the problem.

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