A Broken System of Values
In today's world, many individuals are taught that to err is not human.However, we do err, end we do it excessively. All one needs to do isturn around and see the products of our collective mistakes. However,denial of responsibility and admittance of guilt is not a commontrait of human beings. We think that apologizing and forgiving is theworst case scenario in our lives and usually avoid these actions oract them out if necessary. This, of course, is a terrible habit sinceapologizing and forgiving other people is a healing and beneficialprocess for our health and well-being. Therefore, by learning how toapologize for our mistakes and forgive others for theirs, we will getcloser to being humans, since many people lack the humane factor intheir lives, however paradoxical this might sound.
Apologize and Forgive, Human
Forgiveness is one of the actions whichare usually fake since, if you really forgive someone, you shouldfeel no resentment. Yet, after “forgiving” people usuallyremember and prepare a revenge, hiding behind their bitterresentment. Forgiving is far more complicated than just uttering thewords or suppressing resentment, making you vulnerable to being hurtthe same way in the future. Also, forgiveness depends on the guiltyact or a set of such acts which are to be forgiven. Therefore, weneed to learn a better tactics for forgiveness since, so far, this isnot working.
The first step towards forgiveness isacknowledging the wrongdoing. Namely, you have been hurt by someoneas soon as you feel disappointed and lost, seeking reasons for you toforgive this person for the pain he/she has caused. Well, you needmore information. You need to pinpoint the exact thing that has hurtyou and deal with it. Sometimes, time can help you see this, so thinkabout your sadness and resentment, as well as the cause behind it.
Next, make sure you do everything youcan to mend the problem and take care of it. People usually get intofights due to misunderstanding which can easily be avoided throughrules, emphasis of demands, obligations, expectations and similarmethods.
Conversation solves millions ofproblems. Therefore, if you feel sad and depressed because of someoneelse, talk to him/her, or seek advice from a reliable source. Whenyou decide to spill your guts out, make sure you do not accuse.Rather, express the way you feel and give reasons for the way you feel, seeking solution together with the other side, beingready for compromise.
Finally, always be prepared to listento the other side. Many times you are not aware of your owncontribution to the problem.