Attempting to get pregnant is a big step in your life, and probably one that you are very excited about! All the responsibility of having a baby is often a little scary too, especially to men. What should you do when you feel you are ready for baby, but your husband isn't so sure? The conversation If you're anything like me and my husband, the female part of the couple was probably the first to bring kids up. Males often make mumbling remarks about redecorating, or credit card debt, or just not being ready which women often interpret differently than they were intended. "Great, we'll try to get pregnant when those credit cards are paid off!" she may think. Now, the real question is what the man's true feelings are in this case. Although everyone is different, in my experience it's usually one of a few things that make a man delay committing to trying to conceive while also not saying he doesn't want kids at all:
- He your financial situation is not good enough to bring a baby into the family.
- He just doesn't have that feeling that he wants to have kids.
- He wants kids, but is not sure he wants them with you.
- He just feels really scared about becoming a father.
What to do about it? If your husband is the type of man who doesn't like talking about his feelings, it can be hard to get to the bottom of the reason he doesn't want to try for a baby now. Very possibly, he has no idea himself. Many women report that they pushed their reluctant husband into trying to get pregnant and that said husbands are now the best fathers in the world. That works sometimes. If you want to place the ball in your partner's court, tell him you are coming off birth control and if he wants to avoid pregnancy, he'll have to use condoms to make sure. (There are, of course, many stories about women who try to get pregnant without their partner knowing. That's really unethical and if you feel the urge to engage in this kind of thing, do see a psychologist!) If your partner keeps insisting he's not ready for a baby but he can't tell you why, seeing a relationship counselor is definitely a great idea. It's time to ask some difficult questions, but these often get heated if you do it by yourself. Writing your feelings down is another way to get clarity from your partner. Some couples do break up because they don't feel the same about adding a child to the family. This is something you may have to consider, in the end.