When your partner doesn't want to attend your baby's birth

Nobody bats an eyelid at fathers attending their baby's birth these days, and in many countries this is very much expected. Yet, in many cultures, childbirth is still seen as a woman's affair and some men are uncomfortable attending their baby's birth. You may feel disappointed and sad if your partner has told you that he doesn't want to come to the birth. What should you do?

If you would really, really like your partner to be at the birth either because you want his support while you are in labor, or because you think he shouldn't miss the moment of his child coming into the world you should certainly tell him about that. If he is squeamish, you may help him prepare, and watch birth videos on YouTube together, or attend a childbirth education class. Though if your partner really doesn't want to be there, that is not the end of the world!

My husband comes from one of those cultures where it is still rare for men to be at births. He didn't want to be present, and after I got over my disappointment I realized that a nervous and stressed guy really wouldn't make my birth any better, and may actually cause me so much stress that I couldn't go on! Instead of your husband, a sister, friend, or other relative, or even a birth doula, may serve as excellent support people.

You could also tape your birth so that daddy can still watch the birth if he regrets his decision later. It is so easy to conclude that, in the same way you conceived this baby together, you should also welcome it into the world together. But during labor, the mother should really be the center of attention... and not a stressed husband who doesn't want to be there. Just because your partner doesn't attend your baby's birth, that does not mean that he will not be a wonderful father. And in case you do win him over, your husband may like to read our labor and delivery preparation tips for partners.