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Traumas asSocial Interactions

Whena person goes through a traumatic experience such as abuse, disease,loss of a loved one and other forms of trauma and life alteringsetbacks, it is said that he or she goes through a course of what iswidely known as the Kübler-RossStages of Grief:denial,anger, bargaining, depression, acceptance, Kübler-Ross;but in this article we will be dealing with a simpler, differentmodel which applies to the same situation.It is because of the victim's experience's incompatibility with theones of his surrounding's society members' that makes it possible torecognize and crystallize these stages.

For simplicity's sake, we will explain these stages with one of the mostextreme examples everyone's had to or will eventually have to dealwith, in mind: theloss of a loved one.

DENIAL– "It never happened."

Theevent which has come to pass is sosudden,soaliento the subject and consequences sounacceptablethat there is just no way of wrapping one's conscience around them.The only defense mechanism available is to lose touch with theexperience one has suffered, to cut them off completely and denyoneself they have ever come to pass – as opposed to the people ofthe person's surrounding which may be quite capable with dealing withthe same loss. This kind of gap between different people's experiences may only make the human psyche's desperation move toremain sane all the harder and the healing process slower and morepainful. On the other hand, the surrounding people may not be able tounderstand the victim's emotions, and will in turn tend to mock ortrivialize them – which only further hinders any chance of healing.

HELPLESSNESS– "I could not possibly go on like this."

Eventuallythe victim crashes into reality and is then unable to eitherunderstand or deal with it otherwise, such as previously via denial.He or she ends up in a state of utterly humiliating helplessnessoften accompanied by feelings of debilitating fatigue and mental disintegration. With feelings of finiteness, meaninglessness,negligibility and powerlessness, utterly shattered and met with zerocompassion from the people from his or her life, the victim pulls itall in and completely internalizes these emotions.

DEPRESSION– "It's over."

Ultimately,the more the victim attempts to deal with the problem, the worse offhe or she is: "Thereis just no way around this."Depression is in actuality a little more than self-directed anger.The victim is beating oneself up over things he or she has no controlover, but is still unable to – and most likely never will be ableto – accept them entirely, as the sorrow's source is too abstractto be tackled directly.

Thevictim becomes helpless and adrift. Ultimately, growth and healingrelies heavily upon social interactions, so the closing gap betweenthe way the surrounding members have experienced the trauma asopposed to how the victim has, is the trigger of the healing process.

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