We, humans, being social beings, depend greatly on the world around us. Thus, we cannot possibly become capable of living if we get deprived of our parents or caretakers during our infancy. In fact, children acquire most of their social behavior by observing the world around them.
Therefore, if a child's parents are prone to drinking excessively, there is a high likelihood that he/she will become an alcoholic too. Following the same pattern, if the child is born into a family where there is an abuse, he/she has a great chance of being an abuser or a traumatized individual later in life. All in all, everything present in the world around the child influences his/her mental and behavioral development.
Yet, small children are not capable of differentiating right from wrong until they reach their puberty. Thus, hitting or scolding your child may prove to be more than counter-productive.
Common Mistakes
Spanking a child for misbehaving is a common procedure, considered practical and effective for many. However, punishment does not cure a problem. Rather, it suppresses it. Therefore, the child who had been spanked for saying or doing something inappropriate is likely to say or do the same thing somewhere else. So, he/she will not give up the negative habit, rather, he/she will express it under different, parent and control-free conditions. Also, the child may become depressed and helpless once being faced with punishments too often.
Change Your Parenting Methods
Instead of using punishment and fear in order to bring up your child, try using love and understanding, basing your relationship on caring and mutual trust. From the first days of the child's life, make sure you cradle it and hold it as often as possible. This way, you will create a bond of trust and security and your child is likely not to cry when you leave it, knowing that you will return.
During the period of initial language acquisition, when the child is between 1 and 3 years old, teach him/her the meaning of the word “No” well. Be the main person in charge. Yet, do not use punishments. Teach your child that something they are doing is wrong through gestures and the word “No”, diverting their wrongdoings towards something constructive. Thus, if a child starts using crayons to draw on the wall, divert the action onto a sheet of paper, calmly but firmly.
You need to teach your children that they cannot do everything they want and cannot have everything they want. Once you do this, you will never need yelling, let alone spanking or punishment in your child's life.
Parenting at an Older Age
During adolescence, the child needs support and encouragement, since this is the time of behavior and personality formation. So, praise and reward positive achievements your child has and teach him/her that, in order to have something in life, you must earn it fairly and properly.
Finally, stay supportive and full of understanding, thinking out of the box. Teach your child to take a good care of him/herself, watching him/her grow up to be a successful and good-natured individual.
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