Children and Divorce
There are many families who, for somereasons or others, need to break in two due to divorce andincapability of functioning under the same roof. This is a hardperiod for the family, since, divided like this, it suffers aneconomic, emotional and behavioral shock.
However, even though many parents arenot aware of this, children suffer the most during divorces of theirparents. Namely, they usually know nothing about the act before itactually happens, and they are, thereby, left shocked. This maytrigger many different behavioral problems in children and thus needsto be avoided.
Of course, if things are not workingout for the parents, they need to get a divorce. However, they shouldlet their children know in time. A sensible conversation is usuallyvery beneficial for the understanding of the whole act. By knowingthat the parents are experiencing problems and might divorce,children feel that they are not neglected and learn how to takeresponsibility for their actions in the future.
Therefore, honesty needs to be presentin conversations with your children. Moreover, you have to payattention to the age and the maturity of your children, modifyingyour approaches to the subject and their own involvement according tothese factors.
The Effect of Divorce on Children
Everyone has a hard time after adivorce since, with broken up families, there is no winner coming outof this separation. Children need to be listened to since they willtry and express their feelings. Thus, support is crucial in thisperiod, regardless of your own life preoccupations and worries. Thechildren will grieve over the fact that their family is gone and thatthey may lose contact with one of the parents.
They will feel lost and will requireall the help and affection they can get. Some children, after adivorce, give their best to put the parents back together. Also, theymight feel estranged, betrayed or bias when they need to stay withone parent, seeing the other one less. Often, children blamethemselves for the divorce and this can have catastrophic effect ontheir well-being and behavioral patterns.
Smaller, preschool aged children, mayregress to a previous state after the divorce, wetting themselvesagain and behaving differently. When the children are older, likebeing 9-14 years of age, they are much more mature and haveconnections with other people in their life, having support after thedivorce. Also, then, they should make a choice of theparent who they want to stay with.
Finally, counseling, conversations,expressing feelings and attitudes and staying happy and proud of yourchild are all crucial factors which can help your child deal betterwith the divorce. Play with your children often and spend time withthem, offering emotional support and understanding. Do not criticizethe other parent. Humor can be a very healthy, helpful factor inthese cases, making children understand and accept this aspect oflife.