Insemination options for lesbians and single mothers by choice

If you are part of a lesbian couple, or are hoping to become a single mother by choice, the first question that you'll have to look into is that of the sperm donor. Will you use a known donor or an anonymous one, and what are your personal requirements for a sperm donor? Insemination methods come in a close second in the decision-making process. Let's have a look at the insemination options available to lesbians and single mothers by choice, and what their pros and cons are.

I'm going to start with the most simple methods (and cheap), and will move up to insemination methods that require medical intervention.

DIY insemination This refers to inserting the semen into your vagina yourself (perhaps with a syringe), or having your partner do it. This method probably works best if you are using a known donor who lives close by or can get semen to you at short notice. The advantages of DIY insemination are the possibility of inseminating in the privacy of your own home, a lack of medical intervention, and thereby also a lower cost. But because the chances of success are lower with this methods than with some others, the fact that the insemination itself is free is only an advantage if you are not paying lots of money for vials of semen from a sperm bank!

"Natural insemination" AKA intercourse with your donor While most lesbians and future single mothers by choice stay well away from this option, don't be surprised if potential donors suggest this, if you are using an online donor finding service. Be aware of this.

Intrauterine insemination (IUI) This is probably the most commonly used insemination technique for lesbian couples and single women. If you are using a sperm bank, the chances are that your chosen bank will only ship to a fertility clinic. IUI is relatively low-cost (see Intrauterine Insemination cost) and has higher success rates than intravaginal insemination performed at home. It can be used in combination with fertility drugs such as Clomid. If you are going to use a sperm bank, you might want to read our tips on how to choose a sperm bank! Are you a queer mom or a single mom by choice? What insemination method did you choose, and why? We'd love to hear from you!