Parents, Children and the AttachmentTheory
Since the moment we are born, if thesituations are ideal, our parents love us and take good care of us.These do not have to be biological parents, since any caring personmay be our caregiver and provider when we are small and incapable oftaking care of ourselves. As we grow older, we are attached to thesame people who we have grew up with, keeping these bonds strong forour entire lifetime. Also, when we are children who trust theirparents and believe in their love and devotions, we can manage to beleft on our own for a while since we know our parents will be backfor us because they love us and cannot live without us.
However, thisis not always so. Namely, there are children who have doubts in theirparents' love and devotion and do not trust them at all, let alonefeel secured in their presence. These children usually develop a, socalled, avoidant personality disorder. As the name itself maysuggest, these children refuse to spend time with their parents orcaregivers and tent do avoid them since they do not feel the warmthand support when spending time with them. In order to understand thisproblem better, you are best to read the remainder of this article aswell.
The Onset of the Problem
If you want to know how a childdevelops this personality disorder, the answer is quite simple –during traumatic disappointments in childhood. Namely, the child mayhave wanted support and love at some point, the parents did not reactor reacted wrongly, making the child lose faith in them and face thefact that he/she cannot count on the parents anymore, avoiding themlater. This may be due to parental negligence, wrong parentingtechniques or some other reasons. However, once a child loses faithin his/her parents, this feeling is hard to be restored due to thedevelopment of the avoidant personality disorder in the child's mind.
Moreover, as these children grow up,there is a high likelihood that the avoidant personality disorderwill remain with them. Thus, they will be incapable of forming lovingrelationships, or even indulging into emotional ones. Rather, thesepeople will be prone to occasional sex without any obligations orattachments whatsoever. They will go through life with this lack ofemotions all due to the lack of love and affection during childhood.
Thus, this is to be treated duringchildhood for maximum effectiveness. If you notice your child growingcold towards you, seek professional advice or help and deal with thisproblem as soon as possible.