Sex after having a baby: do men feel a difference?

Some couples feel uncomfortable with making love during pregnancy, but having sex after having a baby is a different beast altogether. It is no wonder that women are anxious about the first time doing the deed after squeezing a baby out. Women may have concerns about pain, how it will feel, and wonder if their partner will be less satisfied because "things have changed down there".

Some couples think they are ready for sex soon after the birth of their baby, but generally it is advised to wait at least until your postpartum checkup which is scheduled at around six weeks postpartum. Before that, your body will need time to recover from the birth and pregnancy itself, and you will be experiencing that "mother of all periods", lochia.

Once you do get to the point where your doctor agrees that trying sex again is OK, your body will have recovered and your vagina won't be as stretched out anymore. If you do Kegel exercises regularly starting soon after birth, this will improve the strength on your pelvic floor muscles, something that may make a difference in the way both partners will feel during intercourse after childbirth as well.

My husband says that the first time after birth felt different, but mostly emotionally and because there was the risk of the baby waking up at any time. We didn't try before the six-week period though, and friends of mine who did have different experiences. It generally does seem that waiting a while will make the experience better for both partners.

Once you do try making love again, take it slowly and stop if there is any pain. Also remember to consider postpartum birth control options if you are not comfortable with having another baby right away, especially if you are bottle feeding. Breastfeeding usually keeps ovulation away, but not always.